Wednesday, June 3, 2015

prayer 2.22.15

rains soaking land, light then heavy overnight, giving drink to plants reviving from long drought and lack of moisture.  lime tree blooming along with gardenia, filling with buds.  mulberries dark and sweet, twice as large from year before.  bushes covered with thimble berries wild, planted by birds of forest.  i feel rejuvenated, refreshed in AB’s Dousing with fresh warm rains.

birds seem happy in songs, we have layer of cloud cover to keep cool, enveloped in atmosphere of moist vapor, giving LIFE to all things requiring water.  i feel so grateful for a full day and half of rains, overflowing lower tank, continuing filling upper one also.  a calm, cool, settling, restful, quiet, restoring, enlivening the living so sapped by recent dryness.  i have taken our abundance of water for granted until this drought of past few months.

usual rainy season inundation not arriving this year, lack engenders appreciation of something missing, necessary, essential for LIFE and growth.  not so with humans.  i feel this is harder, because humans are not benign.  elements of LIFE do not cause harm, humans do.  thus complicates matters.  we have lived with AB for last 5 years, children without their father, i without my husband, betrayed, forsaken, abandoned.  i do not feel resentful, only sorry for his mistakes, practiced repeatedly on us since divorce.  thus my one word for divorce:  DON’T.

children bustling in house preparing for rehearsal this afternoon, performing their piano pieces of beethoven, chopin, shubert, and donald’s original composition to be accompanied with cello by lila their teacher.  asked by lila to play for both recitals as anchors, they agreed willingly thus will be two consecutive days of performances next week.  i feel so grateful to witness their blossoming in AB’s Cultivation, surpassing my development and understanding at their age.  most important and vital is their close bond with AB SMYM, like lucy with aslan, in steadfast trust Nurtured by AB’s Fortification because they are AB’s children, called by AB’s Name.

i, an unworthy parent, bringing so much of my parents’ and their previous generations of rearing, mistakes, into my children’s raising.  i feel so grateful for AB’s Filling in all my lack and blunders with Goodness.  i feel without AB, we three would certainly be miserable, desperate, fretful, grousing, focused on our situation rather than finding REST In Resolution Of AB SMYM.  i highly recommend relationship, Friendship with AB SMYM, to know Creator LIFE GIVER, Source And Fountain Of LIFE, Goodness, Mercy, Forgiveness.  there is really nothing Better nor can there ever really be.

With AB Is Peace Surpassing all understanding, Restful Calm, Assurance.  Knowing AB, our Protector Defender Vindicator Avenger, we may surely lie down in Safety Of AB’s Keeping, Support, Provisions.  Made Room For Constantly At AB’s Side, Standing With LIFE, Raised In AB’s Devotion, Certain Of AB’s Faithfulness.  Unshakable, INseparable from AB’s Presence.  Word Of Honor, Spirit Of LIFE Preserve, Enlighten, Guiding Into Settlement, Abiding Constantly With us In Covenant, Harmonious, Lawful, Legitimate, Rightful.  we, children called by AB’s Name, Sealed In Approval, Cherished In Unrestrained LOVE Unceasingly, Uplifted In Devotion, Firm, Resolved, Eternal.

How Careful, Gentle, Respectful AB Is With every element and aspect of our lives.  Taking Diligence To Preserve Dignity, Honoring Gift Of Freedom, that our conscience is never violated by AB but so often by other humans.  it is Safest In AB’s Care, Sheltering, Sanctuary, Rest Always Ready, Comfort Extended, Encouragement Uplifting amid thrashing by those around.  when we Know How AB Treasures us, we may also extend this to others.  when this is not known, it is an endless groveling in lower realms of existence and understanding, behaving from lack rather than Abundance, falsehood instead of Reality, because we are blind to AS IS.  

my experience With AB Is Consistently, Always, SOFT, Comfortable, Easeful, Easy, Welcoming, Warm, Gentle, Humane, Serene.  AB’s Deliberate Consideration, Understanding to the minutest detail of my existence, Effecting Incredible Good in all areas of my life.  Breath Of Refreshing that i would not be able to live without for any split moment.  it is not an addiction so much as AB Is my Essential Requirement, my Necessity, my Very Need For LIFE Constant.  an addiction is abnormal, it is a craving for harmful things that do not engender LIFE, an obsession, enslavement to habituated infatuation, a thrill, high short lived, temporary, fixation that consumes.  it is not healthy.  

A Need Is Essential, recognizing to supply thus is Normal, Good, Healthful.  our need for AB Is akin to our essential need for air, Sustaining Breath Of LIFE.  this is a Given.  like all our Essential Needs, we may choose to ignore them to our own detriment, many do so and suffer.  when we understand our Essential Relationship To LIFE GIVER, we may choose to relate properly, appropriately, suitably, or not.  the choice is always ours, the consequences of these choices also ours to face.  thus, we are Given Substance Of LIFE, Reality AS IS, Import, that we do not live in a toy world but a REAL Consequential world, and we may choose Good or bad freely, to face also the results, end, effect of our choices.  


this is Significant, Awesome, Amazing, that AB does not baby us, fixing every mistake, quelling every quarrel, but allow us so great a space and room for growth and understanding.  for those that wish for a toy world to exist in, will be great disappointment, for everything is REAL, Honest, Truthful, AS IS.  there is no make belief with AB, AS IS, I AM AS I AM, Always.  Only With Significance can there be True Meaning, Account, Validity, otherwise, what’s the point?  

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