prayer 2.15.15

awaking this morning, thoughts filled with apologetics and devotion in prayer, themes now escapes me having spent early part since rising in garden.

high heavy winds knocked down huge ohia in neighbor’s drive SaBaT early afternoon.  she came over to ask for help and donald and i went, enjoying our time in service.  i feel grateful for opportunity to offer kindness.  we finished with clearing another fallen tree near her garden shed, dismantled a collapsed structural bamboo frame that held the shade cloth for her plants.  

i feel grateful for occasion to answer deeper inquiry into spiritual well being.  i feel AB is unbinding me from scripted uptightness to freer, more easeful, natural way of being that is more relatable to those outside church.  pam broached question, finding us at home on SaBaT, whether we were not going back to church.  i explained that i am enjoying REST from church.  i feel more relaxed, at ease, reflected in her ease, posing question in openness.  i answered that i feel just as worshipful in nature as i do at church, perhaps even more so, with less human elements involved that tend to distract from veneration.  she beamed, agreed, and said she finds God in every living plant.  i feel joyful for her sharing and curiosity into our change in religious practice.

church seem distant, silent, disconnected, reflecting my own disengagement, disassociation with it.  we are transposed, not by choice, but i feel grateful to have this outside perspective.  different to each other now, yet does not affect my relation with AB, I AM Is Same to me, Faithful, Devoted, Wide Open, Embracing Always In Cherishing Approval.

apologies return so i shall write them.  my brother mentioned he is born a worrier.  in my reply, i stated our thoughts generate our emotions thus we have choice, control, dominion over how we feel.  we worry because we think worrisome thoughts.  the act itself does nothing to remedy the situation, only adding to our stress, compromising our well being, causing our suffering as consequence.  whenever i feel out of sorts, anxious, fearful, etc., i have learnt to give it over to AB to seek AB’s Will For me.  my reasoning being, AB Creator LIFE GIVER is better than myself in Thoughts, Deeds, Action, Effect.  this i find true for all aspects of my life.  i used to also worry.  i still sometimes do, rarely.  when i become conscious of my thoughts of worry or anxiety, i recognize my need for AB’s Will instead of my own, AB’s Thoughts, Intention, Purpose, Resolution.  i say this quick prayer:  AB Your Will Be Done.  in this act, i release, commit, devote myself into AB’s Keeping.

obvious to this act is relation in trust.  you will never choose this act if you do not trust AB.  trust comes from knowing AB SMYM, LIFE GIVER, Illuminator, Truth AS IS.  when we know, with experiential knowledge, that we may trust AB with everything in our lives, we may find REST, Peace Surpassing all understanding.  knowing AB Will Accomplish Everything Better than anyone of us.  this is apparent, in Reality, but delusion may stop us from this type of surrender, giving wholly, completely, self over to AB’s Care, Provision, Settlement.  i prefer nowadays not to choose on important issues but to wait and see what AB Effects For me.  i no longer feel need to run ahead to do things myself but Allow AB To Go Before me and Be my Rear Guard in all areas of my life.  i trust AB Explicitly and this trust in relationship to AB, knowing AB AS Friend instead of enemy opposer, Allows Peace To Reign, Rule, Having Dominion in every area, detail of my life.

sounds easy, but to a human steeped in pride comes painfully hard and slow.  perhaps in doubt we might find it easier because once we know AB AS IS, we may trust AB without doubt.  how does one get to know AB SMYM Creator LIFE GIVER?  easy, AB Desires relationship, friendship with us, Revealing Truth Of AB’s Essential Character in all dealings with us Clearly.  like getting to know any friend, it is taking intentional time, spending time together, doing stuff together.  Because AB Is not material does not mean AB is not Present.  AB Is Present Indeed when we shall seek AB’s Face and Presence.  call unto AB and AB Will Certainly Answer.  AB’s Voice becomes Clearer, more Distinct, as we learn to hear Shepherd’s Voice, know AB’s Spirit.  at first it may seem very obscure because we are unfamiliar, but with practice, dedication, devotion, we may learn AB’s Expression Intimately.  AB’s Presence, Profoundly Permeating every feature of our being, every atmosphere of our lives.  then as YShWAi said, we are One with AB, tight with LIFE GIVER.

Who after all would know us better than our own Maker?  Being Parent to each of us, AB Provides for all our needs.  we may imagine other ‘wants’ but our needs are always met, perhaps not in the Way we assume, think, will, or desire.  after all, our desires are not that of LIFE, being depraved, corrupted, our hearts tainted, easily swayed in vice, thus trust in AB is Safer, Sound, than self.  AB’s Assessment certainly would be Better than mine, AB’s Completion Comprehensive where i lack and miss the mark.  AB’s Solutions Deeper than anything i can ever fathom, i am created, AB Being Creator, bringing all things into existence from nothing is pretty awesome.  i can’t do that!  with all my limitations known to me or not, i choose AB as my Person, Ruler Of my entire estate, house, family, existence, LIFE AS IS.  i have loved every moment since AB took over as Driver of my life.  i only wish i had known and done it sooner.  who would not desire True Blessedness?  even the wicked know to choose Blessing but unfortunately their practices are evil and not Good.  i witness them cursing their own lives, well being, others around them.  all it takes is a choice, to return, AB Is Right there to Accept, Cleanse, Heal, Restore.  This Is Will Of AB SMYM, that none should fail, perish, be destroyed, but have LIFE Perpetually Connected To Source Of LIFE, In Peace, Friendship, Unrestrained LOVE, Worship Of Righteousness instead of wrongfulness.  What is your choice?

every step i take, every day lived, i witness how Amazingly AB Has Preempted every consideration, every potential, every contingency, to Make Right my goings and comings.  thus and thus only, i see pointlessness, futility of my anxieties, worries, fears etc.  all i may do is keep seeking AB’s Will that AB May Effect all things For me, Giving me Always the Best and Finest.  despite how it may look superficially, materially, i feel RICH, Abundantly Blessed, Content, Joyful, Uplifted from the mundane to High Places In AB’s Augmentation, Improving all areas of my life.  this is a subtle thing and discerned not by physical but spiritual knowing, insight, Gift Of AB SMYM.  i feel grateful to LIVE In AB Always and AB IN me, as ONE, despite my failures, AB IS ABLE To Cover for everything and that’s Really COOL!  thus making my worries, anxieties, fears effectively null, when connection is made, recognized, acknowledged as Valid.