Being With My Chiron Return Pilgrimage Theme

It is in and thru imperfection that we work out perfection in complete and utter acceptance, letting go to release wanting, wishing, desiring, expectations. Surrendering desire, dissolving thoughts thinking we want and need things, people, experiences, etc., to come to acceptance, which is unconditioned loving of life as is in all its beauty without filters.

Mine had to do with how I am loved, a certain way of wanting to be loved. Hardness came when my insistence of wanting things a certain way instead of surrendering, flowing, being with what is reality and truth as is. Denial is hard because we can never have what we want and desire from mind fabrications that is not real and in front of us living, breathing, flowing, as is, showing us truth blatantly.

Life has a funny way of teaching this lesson of complete utter acceptance or love of what is real, presence, the now. It puts things and people in our path to show us our incongruence, to help us see how our wanting doesn’t work and how it causes harm to ourselves and others.

Grace helps us to see that it can never work. Mercy transforms us to be with truth as is, to accept and love it all, to change our hearts and minds for acceptance of what is, so we may harmonize with life, with what is.

To deny wisdom is death. Wisdom is the conscience that speaks to our souls, hearts, minds, to help us flow with life, to master lessons of our soul. It opens doors to the fulfillment of our vision connected to soulful awareness. It helps us fulfill our truest life purpose.

I have a vision of going on a pilgrimage when I turn 50 this year, to see how life will honor and show up for me. I am contemplating and being with the theme of equality and how it is expressed in each of us, how we allow this voice to speak in and thru us, how we choose to live this ageless wisdom, soul to soul.

I am inspired by Satish Kumar’s pilgrimage, and I have chosen to follow his example, to listen to the voices ancient, to go on this pilgrimage without money, to trust life to provide from its infinite boundless amazing stores.

As this vision quest is coalescing into reality, for me to live and embody the eternal theme of equality, I am being with all my demons, my wanting, desiring for things of the mind, fabrications that can never be because it isn’t truth or reality.

Only I can face these monsters because I created them. When I choose to face them they can be known and dissolved, I can be clear to flow and align with life as is. I can be freed from the nets and snags I created, when I realize I create my thoughts and conditioning, that I can change or dismantle them. 

I can choose to simply be with reality and flow, or I can remain stagnant bound by my own creations, interpretations, meaning I give to things, my perceptions of how things are for me. I realize I can trust nothing that is projected. I can only trust that still awareness that is unbiased, speaking in all of us.

This still true voice, wisdom, conscience, consciousness, intelligence, guides to lead us to safety, to give us rest, to help us know peace, harmony, balance, equality. It is impartial, neutral.

I am learning neutrality, to withhold judgment of the mind, to suspend interpretation of making something mean anything, to simply be with, see, experience, know, sense things in their truth and reality. I am learning not to supplant authentic truth, reality of life as is flowing, coursing, streaming. 

It is about being with, standing with, sitting with what simply is without needing to change any of it, to fully completely accept it in its fullest truth. In full acceptance is unconditioned love, open warm reception of what is. I realize it is a choice I make moment to moment. It is a choice we all make together. It entails freeness in this choosing that is granted to each of us by life that sustains all things. It is completely unconditional in accepting whatever choice we make, even when it is against ourselves, against life, for death.

So, it is up to us, all of us, to do this together. It is our choice, in how we work together or not. This is our way to equality individually and collectively. It is truly our responsibility and our choice because life is all for us to choose what happens to ourselves, to each other, to the world. We have a choice, many choices to make alone and together. This is the theme of my pilgrimage, to choose equality, to embrace life as is, to remain neutral within myself, to support whatever is, to consciously choose reality.

prayer 7.28.15

our bodies and all things physical are tools Supported By Being.  the way we use our bodies, physical things reflects an inward devotion, intent, motive, will.  this is where we may choose how we operate any thing, how we treat any thing or any one, how we interact and respond to material, manifest substance.  ultimately it is heart expression we are dealing with, belonging to respect or violation of Rightfulness, Justice, Mercy, Good, Truth, Peace, LOVE Unrestrained.

sun has arisen, cicadas sing among trees of forest signaling warmth.  we were inundated by rains day before, humidity fluctuate with moisture in atmosphere embracing earth.  we get to live here in ABa’s Land.  some choose Peace, others violence.  surrounded by nature, living in accord with LIFE in healthfulness is Beneficial, extricated from adulteration.  i received letter from california child support enforcement agency asking information for heywood’s whereabouts.  we do not know since he is not communicating with us.

instances like these remind how sick we have become as society, fathers abandoning families, evading necessary support to run away in shameless disregard.  refusal to support legitimate family is out of control, enforcement impotent, thus leaving families in lurch endangered by riotous, unbridled lawlessness.  i feel grateful ABa Is Near Upholding Goodness Consistent.  we live simply, lack in nothing Good, ABa Supplying all our needs physical, emotional, mental, spiritual.

we got into this mess by confusion, seduction, drawn aside from Rightfulness into vice, wrongdoing, corruption.  in this scenario, no one gains, every one is used to satisfy insatiable appetite, succumbing to addiction inextricable.  on the side of the abused, ABa Is Near to Deliver, Defend, Protect.  the abusers will be convicted one Way or another.  depraved dissipation attempts adulteration of Fact Changeless, they may obscure Evidence, eliminate Witness, pervert Trial but ABa’s Judgment is Clear, unaffected by dissolution of debauchery, transgression, crime.

i feel grateful for Justice, Reward Consequential.  we may not ever receive human justice but ABa’s Truth Stands, Compensation is Sure.  seek thus not any thing from the world but from Eternal Faithfulness Of LIFE GIVER Justifying all things, Making Right every situation, Restoring Good in Ceaseless Mercy AMeN.

prayer 7.26.15

i feel grateful for Friendship, First Foremost With ABa ShaMaYM YaHWaH LIFE GIVER, second with family, third with every one else.  to be Remembered is Blessedness, Cherished In ABa’s Continual Embrace, Encircled In Safeguard Of LIFE amid insanity of world out of control heading to extinction, destruction, death.  ABa Comfort In Assurance Constant, Carrying children to the very End in Unrestrained LOVE, Ceaseless Mercy, Magnanimous Forgiveness Complete.

ABa Augments LIFE for all, Bringing Joy Fulfilling Hope in world failing.  True Government Is In ABa Only, where each person is Regarded With Complete Respect, Endowed With Complete Freedom Of Decision, Cherished As Most Beloved.  this, we will never find in the world we live, severed from LIFE GIVER, spinning in confusion.  ABa Is Near, Restoring Order, Renewing every thing daily in Sustenance Of Being, IS-ness, Allowing full manifestation of every choice ever made, Given Room In Freedom Openly.  True Freedom comes at price of Consequence, this we have.

when bad things happen, we tend to point the finger, out of fear of non-acceptance, self-condemnation, when we are to blame.  from ADaM to now, this is the pattern, an inferior one based in fear, not Unrestrained LOVE.  we are accustomed to hypocrisy, lies, falsehood and expect it.  until we are Yoked With ABa ShaMaYM, we learn not Honesty, Truth, Sincerity but rather feign our way through LIFE in fabrications of all kinds, deception, fraud.  to be True for us is a very hard thing, it almost seems foreign, when it should be our Nature.  ABa Restores to Pristine Order, Cover all our weaknesses and faults without question, conditions, delays.  we are all Forgiven Instantly.

this is Grace none of us deserve but may choose to receive as Given By LIFE.  ABa is not deficient to Give Liberally, Supply Abundant, Generous, Charitable In Bounty.  Prodigal to Indulge children Cherished in LIFE, Covering our deficits, lack, shortfall.  YaDaH ABa ShaMaYM For Gracious Giving Of LIFE daily Sustained In Beneficent Magnanimous Advantage, Blessing Of Restoration Is Near, Unrestrained LOVE Complete Balance Total in ABa’s Preparations Ready.