nature so gentle, even in blasting winds, transitions are gradual, unless catastrophe rips away in abruption. i feel grateful for LIFE AS IS. welcomed warmly into dawn, sky muted in blue grey, comfortable despite rushing winds whipping the forest. i feel AB is allowing these changing elements to strengthen us in disruption that is abnormal, rainless hot days, blustery winds that deprive of moisture. hilo was windless, still, while we are swirling, swaying, pushed. one ohia fell silently in forest. i only saw it go down. a neighbor’s albizia i heard crushed, cracking as it fell ground-ward. two weeks now without a single drop, we conserve as in fast, but eating, working, studying, contributing. fasting only in terms of securing our resources, mobilizing things normally not utilized, preserving to perpetuate life naturally.
i felt so grateful, surprised at help extended from person taking much time over counter to ship some packages while we waited. post office clerk asked what we needed while she continued waiting on this person. i needed one stamp to mail a letter to department of taxation, handing her also our slip to pick up couple of packages. we have no mail delivery so everything is picked up at post office in rural areas. looking into my wallet, i lack 8 cents to make the 49 required for the stamp. i remember days when they used to be half the price! the entire Revolution was fought over imposition of taxation and stamps during inception of this country. the person working on completing her packages for mailing quickly offered to fill in the missing 8 with pennies she had in her purse. how wonderful indeed acts of kindness and mercy when extended in time of need. i did not even ask!
thus, with lack of income this past year due to stoppage of support by heywood, using his current legal troubles with government as excuse to forsake legal obligation to us, i have asked once for help in support of our home school. some reached out, some didn’t, some reneged. so, when help is extended from Mercy, i appreciate its significance, Import. Graciousness that does not judge whether someone is worthy or not, is not self motivated but considers the other’s need. i have found the most generous offers from people who are unchurched. gas being a consumable, an expense we could control, severely restricted since there was no income, ora understood and gave us money for gas one time. some at church prejudged our motives to assume we left from reasons they make up in their minds. we have been accused of different things since we stopped attending, none of them valid but we feel no need to explain when there is no True asking, merely nominal superficial casual inquiry proffered, without Substance.
mouthing something is different than true practice, Living In Principle. one can quote entire Scripture, even so, unless Word Of LIFE IS LIVED Alive, is useless, meaningless, vain, futile. i witness churched friends busy with much church activities, to pay attention, listen, understand, care. there is certain agenda behind presentation. now i am on the ‘other’ side to see and know what it is like. what of retention? i return to church to see peoples cycling in and out as if through revolving doors, water through a sieve! no matter where we are, there will always be Good and bad. such is Free Will and its subsequent expression in sinfulness. One Day Soon, that Expression Will Be Refined, Purified, When All Is Revealed And Made Known, there will be left One Definitive Intelligent Choice. those who continue to choose death shall at last meet it terminally. i do not blame the people i have witnessed in my life that betray, they have their reasons, all valid according to themselves. that is fine. i prefer Righteousness, Justice, Mercy, Rectitude, Unrestrained LOVE That Is Unconditional. Much Of All These Have Been Bestowed Upon us From AB SMYM. more so this past year than any year because of our great need. i feel grateful to witness AB’s Constant Provision, Care, Protection, Assurance.
SaBaT dawn is rising in reddish glow from horizon, our time with AB, Appointment, Gathering is half spent in sleep, now burgeoning into day until it dissipates with the sun going down having crossed the sky to the opposite end. we are HOME, With AB Near With us, Surrounded In AB’s Embrace. Peaceful, Restive, Appreciative, Calm amid storming winds. bird songs inundate forest welcoming day, i feel happy and content In AB’s Salvation, Restoration from full day of work before. easeful, relaxed, without need to go anywhere, enjoying the moment AS IS. we church, gather at HOME. does not the Scripture say, when two and three are gathered, AB IS? until i have opportunity to study this in Original, i receive this as True. once it has been confirmed by self study, verified with Original as Fitting, Right, i will have Greater Assurance. i believe if only one heart gathers with AB, AB IS Near To Abide. AB seeks Union With us In Peace. established churches today are so full of strife, inconsistencies, confusion, it can be hard for many people to accept. pushing doctrines made up by humans do not count as Truth. i feel grateful for AB’s Assurance, Approval, Cherishing, Protection. it is very nice not to have to deal with church, specifically certain people at church that can tend to be nasty. working there for last 5 years was not fun. i feel grateful i may retire from church work to commit myself to AB Complete. i admire people who desire and can stay in church for many years, decades, entire lifetime.
i see aunty peggy’s bright, shining eyes and know her heart for LOVE. i found out from uncle matt she did not attend for many years. she is there almost every SaBaT and i feel happy to see her attend. for those that do in Purity Of Spirit, the better. i need a break from church politics, which i was involved over my head. i return now only as visitor, no one significant, outcast, because i am considered ‘unfaithful’ though none doubt my Trust And Faith In AB SMYM Because AB’s Work Continues through me despite my disconnection with church. it is only lack of comprehension, rather need for enforcing human traditions, for some to feel comfortable with me. that is too far gone! sore thumbs there always will be, those that choose to stand up for Right, will certainly be pummeled by those in fear. if something is Meaningful, it is then worth fighting for, standing up for, even if it may not be accepted by majority. we see in history that majority is often misled, the herd rushing blindly down slippery slopes. i no longer argue with senselessness. soon enough, the results show, consequences seen, Truth Revealed. i must but wait in patience.
my singular purpose in life is to seek Truth. once found, i apply Principles to LIFE, living it alive to see for myself in verification whether it is Really True. if it is, i keep it, treasured, nourished, sustained. if not, Truth Will Be its replacement, thus ultimately, it is Truth That LIVES In me. many things have been dismantled in investigation For Substance. much have fallen to disuse. only few Kernels, Pearls Of Great Price Remain. i feel grateful for these that AB Polishes And Shines To Make Brighter Still in daily trials lived. i do not like to do anything for mammon. i feel mammon motivation taints the Sacred. thus, i agree with paul volk that if one finds something that one may be willing, passionate to do without compensation, one may have found True Calling, Occupation, Profession, LOVE. i feel Blessed to be Occupied by Much that is Satisfying without need for compensation. AB Supplies All our needs Abundantly that we lack in nothing Good. in any sharing until we are Purified will contain Good and bad. we must then pick out things that are Good to us and leave the ones we can’t handle, perhaps if there is Truth in these, we may return later to dwell in them. entire forest is swishing and swaying in heaving high winds, trees pushed back and forth bending wildly to accommodate this desperate invisible force. there is no fear in Perfect LOVE.
i feel opposer must be desperate to harass us in such ways. does not it know the story of the wind and sun, that in the end, the wind lost and the SON WON? it can never win by force, coercion, humanity endowed with Free Will may choose even under greatest most severe oppression to LIVE FREELY, like louis zamperini, in defiance of demeaning vicious tyrants. what abuse, malice, cruelty, violations have we not witnessed in these thousands year cycles? Spirit Of LIFE Continues In Free Will Expression. this Inherent Quality can not be stopped, will not even die when life is put out, extinguished. perhaps that may be excuse for desperate measures, transgressions, deviations, choosing death for itself and everyone, attempting to control by depriving others of Free Will, Free Choice, Gift Of AB SMYM, Creator LIFE GIVER. this cannot be accomplished. it is against Law Of Being, akin to fighting against gravity in denial of its Very Power And Existence. it is a LAW, that which binds us, keeps us Safe, for our Good. this Free Gift, Free Will, Free Choice can never be taken from anyone because it is ours Eternally, Because AB Set It As A LAW, like gravity. as long as we exist, we are bound by these Wonderful Laws Of LIFE. they hold to keep us Secure In Assurance, and will Consistently Perform What It Is Designed To Complete. thus efforts of opposer is pointless, impotent, fruitless, stemming from prideful selfishness. every tyrant that has attempted to rule earth use the same deadly principles, ONE DAY Soon to be completely Cleansed, Wiped Out, because it is completely irrelevant to LIFE. it’s time will be over, done with, we have seen all its tricks, and found all of empty, useless, ineffectual, abortive, we no longer desire to buy into nor sell these falsehoods. Done, Finished, Complete. Truth Stands, distortions unfounded, i feel grateful for Truth AS IS AMeN
